Sermon Deuteronomy 5:16 “Honoring Parents”

Rev. Jeffrey T. Howard
Sermon Deuteronomy 5:16 “Honoring Parents”
New Covenant Church
March 18, 2018

This is my fifth sermon on the Ten Commandments.  So, naturally, we will be looking at the fifth commandment about honoring our parents.   The Ten Commandment came to us on two stone tablets.   Why two?   Could Moses and God used the front and back to save stone?  Well, yes they could have.   But God wanted two tablets for a very specific reason.   On the first tablet, God wrote instructions about God’s relationship with us.   We are not to worship any other God because that would lead us to slavery, not freedom.   We are never to worship things we have made out of wood or metal or stone because these things will never satisfy us.   We are to be careful how we use God’s name always using it reverently.   And we are to have one day of rest each week set aside for worship, prayer, and Bible study.   All of this is on the first tablet and teaches us how to relate to God.

On the second tablet, God wrote about how we should love our neighbor.  We are never to kill, or steal,  have sex outside of marriage, lie, or desire what others have.   After Easter, we will be looking carefully at each of these commandments on the second tablet.

But what about the fifth commandment, the one about honoring mother and father?  Was this command on the first or second tablet?   Many have argued that honoring parents belongs on the second tablet because it deals not with our love of God but of our love of parents.   And so they place the fifth commandment on the second tablet. 

But I disagree.   Our parents are the ones who bring us to God in the first place.   They pray for us when we were in the womb.  They had us baptized promising to raise us in the faith.  They dressed us for Sunday School and drove us to Youth Group.   And when we were old enough they celebrated with us when we confirmed our baptism and joined the church.   Without faithful parents, we may not be faithful Christians today.    So honoring our parents is honoring their work in bringing us to God.   And so I think the fifth command belongs on the first tablet. 

Today we will look at what it means to honor our parents.   We will get to this, but first, let’s pray.
“Grant unto us, O Lord, to be occupied in the mysteries of thy heavenly wisdom, with true progress in piety, to thy glory and our own edification. Amen.” (John Calvin)

Deuteronomy 5:1 Moses summoned all Israel and said:  Hear, Israel, the decrees, and laws I declare in your hearing today. Learn them and be sure to follow them. 2 The Lord our God made a covenant with us at Horeb. 3 It was not with our ancestors that the Lord made this covenant, but with us, with all of us who are alive here today.

5:16 “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

The fifth commandment requires us to honor our parents.   If our parent brought us to church.  If they taught us to pray and read the Bible.   If by their words and actions we became faithful disciples of Jesus Christ, then we are required to honor them by continuing to do what they taught us and by raising our children in the faith.   Here is how Solomon put it in the Book of Proverbs.

Proverbs 1:8 Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction, and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.  9 They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.

There are two obligations we have when honoring our parents.   The first is to continue in the faith they have given us.   The second is to care for their physical needs as they grow old.   Some of us, including me, have aging parents.   I know that I have an obligation to care for my Dad.   When he moved into a retirement facility, I took his old furniture.  His old bedroom furniture is in my guest room.   And he knows he is welcome in my home anytime.   But my Dad is independent.   At age 90 he still drives and has two 90-year-old girlfriends he takes out on dates.    Living with me would crimp his bachelor lifestyle.   He likes to have fun.   But I know that one day he will need more care.    I have to be ready to give him whatever he needs. 

Some of you are dealing with aging parents.   The question of assisted living for them is facing many of you.    And each of you will have to decide, with God’s help, the best way to honor your aging parents.

The fifth commandment tells us to honor our parents and we will have the blessing of a long life.   This is because as we care for our parents our children are learning how to care for us.    Grace and I are always trying to find ways of getting together with her sons.   But recently we realized that we could not expect her sons to visit if Grace didn’t visit her own parents.   They live in Los Angeles and it is difficult and expensive to go see them.   But Grace has made a commitment to see them regularly.   And we pray that her sons will visit us too. 

Our relationship with our parents is the same relationship we have with God.   This must be because our parents were created in God’s image.   The Bible requires us to revere and respect both God and our mother and father.  We read this in scripture:

Leviticus 19:3 Each of you must respect your mother and father, and you must observe my Sabbaths. I am the Lord your God…  32 Stand up in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the Lord.

The same Hebrew word is used for revere and respect.   So our obligation to respect our parents is the same obligation we have to revere God. 

When parents died the ancient Hebrews would honor them by burying them.  We read this bill of sale for a grave for Sarah in the Book of Genesis:

Genesis 23:17 So Ephron’s field in Machpelah near Mamre—both the field and the cave in it, and all the trees within the borders of the field—was deeded 18 to Abraham as his property in the presence of all the Hittites who had come to the gate of the city. 19 Afterward Abraham buried his wife Sarah in the cave in the field of Machpelah near Mamre (which is at Hebron) in the land of Canaan. 20 So the field and the cave in it were deeded to Abraham by the Hittites as a burial site.

What’s missing in the Old Testament is any mention of pilgrimages to or worship at burial sites.  Deaths were lamented, but there is no evidence that the dead had any religious significance at all.  There was no worshiping of ancestors as there was in other cultures.   And any attempt to contact the dead through the occult was strictly forbidden. 

So how specifically are we to honor our parents?  The first thing we should do is to honor their authority.  We read this in Proverbs.

Proverbs 15:5 A fool spurns a parent’s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence.

Proverbs 23:22 Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.

Proverbs 30:17 “The eye that mocks a father, that scorns an aged mother, will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley, will be eaten by the vultures.

So we are to honor and the authority of our parents and respect their discipline.  Of course, parents have the obligation to be biblically wise and godly in their instruction.   In addition to honoring our parents, we must also support them.  Joseph has made it big in Egypt, but his father Jacob was suffering during a famine.   So Joseph supported his aging father this way:

Genesis 45:9 Now hurry back to my father and say to him, ‘This is what your son Joseph says: God has made me lord of all Egypt. Come down to me; don’t delay. 10 You shall live in the region of Goshen and be near me—you, your children and grandchildren, your flocks and herds, and all you have. 11 I will provide for you there, because five years of famine are still to come. Otherwise you and your household and all who belong to you will become destitute.’ 

So Joseph supported his father by bringing him to Egypt to live.   Sometimes this is what we need to do, bring the aging parent to live with us.   Thankfully with Social Security, pensions and retirement saving many seniors can enjoy independent living.    But remember they still need our respect, visits, and love.

We honor our parents by respecting their instructions and discipline.   And we give them love and support as they grow old.  And the third thing we are to do is to uphold the traditions they give us.   If our parents have taught us to go to church to worship God and read our Bible daily, as my grandmother insisted,  we should respect this tradition and pass it on to our kids.    When Moses preached on the Ten Commandment he told his people this.

Deuteronomy 6:1 These are the commands, decrees and laws the Lord your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, 2 so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the Lord your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. 3 Hear, Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the Lord, the God of your ancestors, promised you.

4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

And so it is the Ten Commandments that we are to learn, obey and pass on to our children.    And we are to honor and respect the mothers and fathers who taught the commandments to us.    Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father, thank you for the people who have guided us in our spiritual journeys.   Bless all who guided and taught us as we grew into maturity in the faith.  Bless our parents as they grow older with good health.   Bless our children with faith in you.   We ask all of this in the name of the one who honored you, your son, Jesus Christ.   Amen.