Sermon Philippians 4:5 “Gentleness”

Rev. Jeffrey T. Howard
New Covenant Presbyterian Church
Sermon Philippians 4:5 “Gentleness”
May 5, 2019

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We are continuing with our look at Christ-like virtues.  These virtues are developed from our faith and spiritual practices.  So far we have talked about Self-Control, Patience, Kindness, and Goodness.   Today we turn to the Christian virtue of Gentleness.   We will get to this, but first, let’s pray.

“Grant unto us, O Lord, to be occupied in the mysteries of thy Heavenly wisdom, with true progress in piety, to thy glory and our own edification. Amen.” (John Calvin)

When I was a kid I learned a very helpful proverb.  “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me.”   The meaning of this proverb was that there was a distinction between words and violence.   And it was important to keep our disputes non-violent by using words.   This is the basis of our court system.  If someone does something violent to me or my property, I can go to court and argue for damages rather than respond with violence. 

But today in many universities children are being taught that there is no difference between violence and speech.   They say that some speech is a form of violence.   And they say that if speech is used violently then a violent response is justified.

Recently a political commentator, Michael Knowles, spoke a the University of Missouri, Kansas City.  His topic was “A Man is not a Woman”.   His idea was that you cannot change your gender.  This was seen by some students as violent speech.  So they responded violently by squirting an unknown liquid at Mr. Knowles.   Rather than disciplining the student who had attacked Mr. Knowles the president of the university condemned Michael Knowles for his violent speech.

This is dangerous because it means that we can no longer use speech to defuse violent situations.   If words are a form of violence then words cannot be used to stop violence.   And if we cannot talk non-violently about our problems then violence will get worse. 

Our only hope is that the Holy Spirit will develop in us the virtue of gentleness.  Only then can we respond to violence calmly, in a thoughtful, considerate way.   
In the New Testament, there are two Greek words which are translated into English as “gentleness”, prautes and epiekes.   These words both mean gentleness, but they have subtle differences in meaning.  Let’s look at prautes.  Prautes is the virtue that you develop so that you are not overly impressed by your own self-importance.

2 Corinthians 10:1 By the humility and gentleness of Christ, I appeal to you—I, Paul, who am “timid” when face to face with you, but “bold” toward you when away!

While I was attending seminary I became the Multicultural Intern for Pasadena Presbyterian Church.  The church had three worshiping congregations.   Each worshiped in a different language, Spanish, Korean and English.   Pasadena is one church with three different language groups.  As the Multicultural Intern, I was to find ways of bringing the three groups together.   I was assigned the task of developing a Bible study for Lent.   We would intentionally form Lenten small groups with Spanish, Korean, and English speaking participants. 

Usually, when you try to do this the English speakers dominate the discussions.   They already had mastered the language.  They had been born in America.  And they had been members of the church for many years.   Korean and Spanish speakers were new people with limited skill in English.   So the English speakers usually dominated the discussions while the others sat there quietly. 

I wanted to avoid this situation.   I wanted people from all three language groups to participate in the discussion equally.   So I used a technique called “Mutual Invitation”.   A group facilitator would welcome the group and see that they were all seated comfortably.   Then the facilitator would pray, read scripture and ask a question.   The facilitator would then invite someone to speak.   The rules were simple.  Only one person could speak at a time, and everyone else had to remain silent when someone was speaking.   The person speaking could take a few moments of time to compose his or her thoughts;  this was very important for the Korean and Spanish speakers to get their answers into English.    No one could interrupt the person speaking.  And when that person was finished he or she would invite the next person to speak. 

This process was repeated until everyone had spoken.   Then the facilitator would ask the next question.

The results were amazing.   The English speakers who wanted to interrupt had to remain silent.   The Spanish and Korean speakers had time to think before speaking, and they could speak without being interrupted.   Everyone had an equal opportunity to speak.  Through Mutual Invitation the dominant group learned to be gentle, and the less powerful groups had opportunities.  Prautes means that you are gentle; you do not think of yourself to highly.   

Let’s now turns to the other Greek word translated as “gentleness”.   This is the Greek word, epiekes.   Epiekes means that you exhibit gentleness by not insisting on your rights.

Suppose you are in a crowded parking lot.   You have been driving around looking for a parking space.   Then you see someone get in her car and begin to back out of a space very near the store you are about to visit.   You thank God for this blessing and turn on your turn signal telling everyone that this is your parking spot. 

Then you see a car coming from the other direction.   You see an older man behind the wheel.   You see that the car has handicapped license plates.   There are no handicapped spaces available.   Your parking space is the only one.   What do you do?   Do you take the parking space right near the store as is your right?  After all, you were there first and your turn signal is on.   Or do you let the elderly driver with the handicapped plates use this spot while you find another?  If you have developed the Christian virtue of gentleness, then you will give up your right to the parking space and give it to the elderly driver.

Of course, all this is hard to do.   We have difficulty giving up our privileges and giving others a chance.   This is especially true at church.   When someone comes to a church they want to participate in decision making and use their spiritual gifts.   In a growing church, people will give up some of their own prestige and power to the newcomers.  That is why leaders of the church should not be an elder, trustee or deacon forever.   It is important to cycle off these boards so the newcomers can cycle on.  If you are organizing Fellowship activities or VBS or mission projects, your job is to get new people involved so that they will replace you.   This will only happen if you have the Christian virtue of gentleness, and are willing to giving up some of your rights and privileges so that others can participate in decision making and use their gifts

So what are some practical things we can do to nurture the virtue of gentleness?

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

The first thing we can do is to be thoughtful.   In every situation, we take time to think about the proper thing to do.  We don’t act like a bull in a china shop pushing everything over, trying always to get our own way.  Rather, we try to always encourage others and do little things to help them.

We also need to be considerate.   Whenever we have an important decision to make we think about the impact it will have on others.  We get input from other people and take their opinion seriously.  And we follow our Christian role model, Jesus, to learn how to be gentle.

And finally, we must remain calm.  We have to let the passions of the moment dissipate and then act in confidence.  When someone comes at us filled with anger, we need to resist the temptation to respond violently.  Rather we try to diffuse the situation before it can get worse. 

So, with the Christian virtue of gentleness, we are to calmly be thoughtful and considerate in everything we do.   We are not to think too highly of ourselves.   And we are to forgo our rights and privileges in order to benefit others.  And this brings us to today’s scripture.

Philippians 4:5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.

The reason we are to be gentle is so everyone will know that Christians have something good to offer.  We are willing to give up our rights and privileges to lift others up.   We do not think too highly of ourselves.   And we always act calmly with thoughtfulness and consideration of others.  We do this because our Lord is here with us, watching us and guiding us.  We act as he did.   And we do what he told us to do.

Matthew 11:29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” 

Let’s pray.   Lord Jesus, we thank you for teaching us how to be gentle.   We promise to give up our rights and privileges to benefit others, and not to think too highly of ourselves.   With your help, we will remain calm, thoughtful and considerate.    This we pray in your gentle name.  Amen.