Presbyterian Church of Easton
Sermon Matthew 18:21-35 “Forgiven and Forgiving”
September 13, 2020
Forgiveness is the foundation of our faith. Each Sunday we gather right here to confess our sins and ask God for forgiveness. And we know that if we do confess our sins and truly repent our faithful God will graciously pardon us. This gives us great joy. All we have done to fail God’s expectations is wiped away by the blood of Jesus Christ. And in this joy, we owe God an enormous debt of gratitude.
God expects us to express this gratitude in a very specific way. We are to forgive those who have harmed us. And this is a very difficult thing to do. So today we will be looking at what it means to forgive someone else just as God has forgiven us. But before we start all of this will you pray with me?
Lord Jesus Christ, we know that by your sacrifice on the cross we have been forgiven for all of our sins against God. We thank you for this gift. And in our gratitude, we ask that you teach us, though the scripture, how to forgive those who have harmed us. We pray all of this in your strong name. Amen.
Matthew 18:21 Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.”
23“For this reason, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. 24 When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him; 25 and, as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions, and payment to be made. 26 So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt. 28 But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat, he said, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt. 31 When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. 32 Then his lord summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. 35 So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
Have you ever noticed that we can’t change the past? We have little control over the present. At least our future is filled with hope.
The past is locked in stone. It is trapped in our memories forever. Sometimes we want to forget the past but it keeps coming back. When we least expect it, a memory from the past breaks into our minds reminding us of a past hurt. This rekindles an anger that never seems to go away. Our only hope, when this happens, is that God will give us the gift of forgiveness which will wash away our anger and allow us to heal.
One thing to remember about forgiveness is that it is always about forgiving a person for something that person did. It’s not possible, I believe, to forgive a corporation, a church, a school, a business, or a government. Since all of these are products of a fallen world they all have the potential to harm us. And when they do we rightly get angry and demand justice.
But forgiveness is something we do about people, people who live in families and work for corporations, churches, and schools. We forgive people because people, like us, were created in the image of God and because people, like us, are sinners in need of forgiveness. Therefore only people can be forgiven. And this leads us to the first step of forgiving someone, to realize that the person who hurt us is a person just like us.
All too often we see a person who hurts us, not as a person at all, but as a demon. We say things like “He is nothing more than an animal” or “She is just a cheat”. We see people through the lens of our anger and hurt. But by looking through the lens of forgiveness we understand that the person who hurt us is a person, not a monster.
Another thing to remember is that forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. Recognizing that the person who hurt you is a person does not mean that you should marry that person again, or be friends with that person again. Reconciliation or restoration is often impossible to do. Forgiving means that you recognize that you were hurt by a person who was flawed, a sinner. And with that realization forgiveness then becomes a possibility.
Whenever we are hurt we have the desire to get even. Our sense of justice and fairness demands this. We want vengeance. We want our enemy to suffer. But forgiveness means giving up our desire for vengeance. Forgiveness, therefore, requires that we give up our right to get even.
We have to give up vengeance, but not justice. Vengeance is the satisfaction we feel when someone who hurts us is hurt. But justice is when someone pays a fair penalty for what they have done. Forgiveness requires that we hold justice but drop vengeance.
There is an interesting story in John Irving’s Trying to Save Peggy. A new freshman in college named Maggie was walking home from the library with her new friend, a senior named Apol. When they arrived at the dorm Apol kissed a very excited Maggie.
A week later she got a note from Apol that said that he had syphilis and probably gave it to her. He told her to go down to the infirmary at once for antibiotics.
At the infirmary, the nurse listened to Maggie’s story and assured her that she was ok. She could not get syphilis from kissing Apol. The nurse also said that Maggie was the fifth freshman girl who had come to the infirmary with the same story that morning.
Maggie decided to get even. She hung a 25ft banner made from five-bed sheets on the front portico of the school which said in large block letters “Apol Sider Has Syphilis”.
Apol, with some friends at the airport, hired a biplane to fly a large banner over the next football game which read “Maggie Mousma Has a Filthy Disease.”
What did Maggie’s and Apol’s desire to get even accomplish? What does a desire to get even ever accomplish? Situations just escalate into continuing conflict. We need to first surrender our right to get even if we ever hope to get around to forgiving.
As we have seen, to forgive someone as God has forgiven us requires us to see that person as a human being, however flawed, and to give up our right to get even. When we do these two things, something happens to us. Our feelings begin to change.
Usually, when someone hurts us we experience pain and anger, but our feelings quickly change to hate. We hate the person who has hurt us. We can passively hate someone and hope that bad things will happen to them. We can actively hate someone and plan the misfortune that will befall them ourselves. Either way, we tend to call on God in Heaven to hurt someone at least as much as they have hurt us.
But when we receive the gift of forgiveness from God our feelings begin to change. We begin to desire that good things will happen to the person who hurt us. Our desire for that person’s goodwill will be weak at first. It will be mixed with a desire that bad things will happen too. But if you experience, even a little, the desire that good things will happen for a person who hurt you then you can be assured that God’s gift of forgiveness is coming upon you, and your feelings will change.
The apostle Peter knew the importance of forgiveness from Jesus’ teachings. But he wondered how long, should a follower of Jesus keep forgiving someone who hurts them over and over again. Seven times seemed enough for Peter. After all seven was the number of days in a week. But Jesus said that there is no limit to forgiveness. It does not matter how many times you were hurt in the past, God’s gift of forgiveness is sufficient for you to recognize the humanity of the person who hurt you, give up your right of vengeance, and begin to feel benevolently toward that person regardless of how long or how many times you have been hurt.
Jesus’ parable tells us that we have been forgiven by God. We are sinners and deserve God’s condemnation. But God recognizes us as created in his image. God has no desire to get even with us. And God loves us no matter how long or how many times we have sinned. As a response to God for giving us we owe a debt of gratitude which can only be paid if we forgive those who have hurt us.
So if you are angry with someone today, if someone has hurt you, I urge you to forgive that person just as God has forgiven you. Remember that the person who hurt you is a sinner in need of a loving God just as you are. Remember that God never takes vengeance or tries to get even and neither should you. And God loves us even though we are sinners. So we are called to love even those who have hurt us. The only way we can love the ones who hurt us is if we are first loved by God. And the promise of scripture is that even though we are sinners and deserve to be condemned, God loves us and forgives us and gives us by his grace the gift of being forgiven and the gift of forgiving others. Let’s pray.
Father in Heaven we ask for the gift of forgiveness. Forgive us of all the sins that we have done against you. Remember that we are your children. Withhold your ability to punish us. And love us as if sin had never touched our lives. Then help us to forgive those who have hurt us. Allow us to see that they too are your children. Remove our desire to get even. And help us to love them as you love us. We pray this in the name of Jesus Christ who gave his own life that we might be both forgiven and forgiving. Amen.
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