Presbyterian Church of Easton
Sermon Philippians 4:5 “Gentleness”
April 3, 2022
Next week, Palm Sunday, we will be receiving the One Great Hour of Sharing. One Great Hour is a special giving opportunity of the Presbyterian Church USA. It supports three important ministries of the denomination, Presbyterian Disaster Assistance, Presbyterian Hunger Program and Self Development of People. Today I would like to talk about Presbyterian Hunger Program.
Our Lord Jesus fed the hungry and told us to do the same. This is the foundation of Christian hospitality. This church has helped people with food insecurity for a long time. When hungry people come to our church we give them a grocery gift card for $25 and refer them to area food pantries. The Presbyterian Hunger Program supports local churches to feed the hungry, and searches for long-term solutions to end the root causes of hunger around the world. Specifically the Presbyterian Hunger Program seeks to do five things: Direct Food Relief combined with Root Cause Work, Sustainable Development, Advocacy, Intentional and Sustainable Living, Education.
Nyapan Gai is the widowed mother of six small children in South Sudan. When her husband died she was, by law, unable to inherit his cattle. This left her completely destitute. The Presbyterian Hunger Program has trained a group of 200 widows, including Nyapan Gai, to provide for their families. They are trained in agricultural techniques and given seed to make their home gardens flourish with abundant food to feed their families.
You can support these widows and their home gardens with contribution in the Presbyterian Giving Catalog. And you also can support the Presbyterian Hunger Program with a generous contribution to the One Great Hour of Sharing.
We are continuing today with our look at Christ-like virtues. These virtues are developed from our faith and spiritual practices. So far we have talked about faithfulness, patience, kindness, and goodness. Today we turn to the Christian virtue of gentleness.
Philippians 4:5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
We will talk about gentleness, but first, let’s pray. “Grant unto us, O Lord, to be occupied in the mysteries of thy Heavenly wisdom, with true progress in piety, to thy glory and our own edification. Amen.” (John Calvin)
When I was a kid I learned a very helpful proverb. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me.” The meaning of this proverb was that there was a distinction between words and violence. And it was important to keep our disputes non-violent by using words. This is the basis of our court system. If someone does something violent to me or my property, I can go to court arguing for damages rather than responding with violence.
But today in many universities children are being taught that there is no difference between violence and speech. They say that some speech is a form of violence. And they say that if speech is used violently then a violent response is justified.
An example of this happened last Sunday. At the Academy Awards the comedian, Chris Rock told a joke. Everyone laughed except the woman who was the butt of the joke. Then this woman’s husband, the actor, Will Smith, stormed the stage and hit the comedian.
Just a few years ago an insulting joke would have been considered funny. Today it is seen as violence justifying a violent response. This is dangerous because it means that we do, no longer, use speech to defuse violent situations. If words are a form of violence then words cannot be used to stop violence. And if we cannot talk non-violently about our problems then violence will get worse.
Our only hope is that the Holy Spirit will develop in us the virtue of gentleness. Only with the gift of gentleness can we respond to violence calmly, with thoughtful and considerate words. We must remember this wisdom in the Book of Proverbs.
Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
In the New Testament, there are two Greek words which are translated into English as “gentleness”, prautes and epiekes. These words both mean gentleness, but they have subtle differences in meaning. Let’s first look at prautes. Prautes is the virtue that you develop so that you are not overly impressed by your own self-importance.
2 Corinthians 10:1 By the humility and gentleness of Christ, I appeal to you—I, Paul, who am “timid” when face to face with you, but “bold” toward you when away!
The Apostle Paul was the spiritual leader of the early church. They accepted his letters as part of their Bible, the New Testament. This position might have given Paul a big head. But it didn’t. Because God had given him the gift of gentleness he was able to respond to criticism with humility.
While I was attending seminary I became the Multicultural Intern for Pasadena Presbyterian Church. The church had three worshiping congregations. Each worshiped in a different language, Spanish, Korean and English. Pasadena is one church with three different language groups. As the Multicultural Intern, I was to find ways of bringing the three groups together. I was assigned the task of developing a Bible study for Lent. We would intentionally form Lenten small groups containing Spanish, Korean, and English speaking participants.
Usually, when you try to do this the English speakers dominate the discussions. They already had mastered the language. They had been born in America. And they had been members of the church for many years. They would speak first and dominate the discussion.
The Korean and Spanish speakers were new people with limited skills speaking in English. So when the English speakers spoke they usually sat there quietly.
I wanted to avoid this situation. I wanted people from all three language groups to participate in the discussion equally. So I used a technique called “Mutual Invitation” developed by the author, Eric Law. A group facilitator would welcome the group and see that they were all seated comfortably. Then the facilitator would pray, read scripture and ask a question. The facilitator would then invite someone to speak. The rules were simple. Only one person could speak at a time, and everyone else had to remain silent when someone was speaking. The person speaking could take a few moments of time to compose his or her thoughts; this was very important for the Korean and Spanish speakers to get their answers into English. No one could interrupt the person speaking. And when that person was finished he or she would invite the next person to speak. This process was repeated until everyone had spoken. Then the facilitator would ask the next question.
The results were amazing. The English speakers who wanted to interrupt had to remain silent until they were invited to speak. The Spanish and Korean speakers had time to think before speaking, and they could speak without being interrupted. Everyone had an equal opportunity to speak. Through Mutual Invitation the dominant group learned to be gentle, and the less powerful groups had opportunities to participate in the discussion. This is what the Greek word Prautes means. Prautes means that you are gentle; you do not think of yourself too highly.
Let’s now turn to the other Greek word translated as “gentleness”. This is the Greek word, epiekes. Epiekes means that you exhibit gentleness by not insisting on your rights.
Suppose you are in a crowded parking lot. You have been driving around looking for a parking space. Then you see someone get into her car and begin to back out of a space very near the store you are about to visit. You thank God for this blessing and turn on your turn signal telling everyone that this is your parking spot.
Then you see a car coming from the other direction. You see an older man behind the wheel. You see that the car has handicapped license plates. There are no handicapped spaces available. Your parking space is the only one close to the store. What do you do? Do you take the parking space right near the store as is your right? After all, you were there first and your turn signal is on. Or do you let the elderly driver with the handicapped plates use this spot while you find another? If you have developed the Christian virtue of gentleness, then you will give up your right to the parking space and give it to the elderly driver who needs it.
Of course, all this is hard to do. We have difficulty giving up our privileges and giving others a chance. This is especially true at church. When someone comes to a church they want to participate in decision making and use their spiritual gifts. In a growing church, older members will give up some of their own prestige and power to the newcomers. This is why leaders of the church should not be an elder, trustee or deacon forever. It is important to cycle off these boards so the newcomers can cycle on.
If you are organizing fellowship activities or VBS or mission projects, your job is to get new people involved so that they will replace you. This will only happen if you have the Christian virtue of gentleness, and are willing to give up some of your rights and privileges so that others can participate in decision making and use their gifts
So what are some practical things we can do to nurture the virtue of gentleness? The first thing we can do is to be thoughtful. In every situation, we take time to think about the proper thing to say and do. We don’t act like a bull in a china shop pushing everything over, trying always to get our own way. Rather, we try to always encourage others and do little things to help them.
We also need to be considerate. Whenever we have an important decision to make we think about the impact it will have on others. We get input from other people and take their opinion seriously. And we follow our Christian role model, Jesus, to learn how to be gentle.
And finally, we must remain calm. We have to let the passions of the moment dissipate and then act in confidence. When someone comes at us filled with anger, we need to resist the temptation to respond violently. Rather we try to diffuse the situation with gentle words before it can get worse.
If Will Smith had the gift of gentleness he would have remained in his seat. He would have thought about what Chris Rock had said. He would have thought about his wife’s reaction. And later, after thoughtful reflection he said this:
“Violence in all of its forms is poisonous and destructive. My behavior at last night’s Academy Awards was unacceptable and inexcusable. Jokes at my expense are part of the job, but a joke about Jada’s medical condition was too much for me to bear and I reacted emotionally,” Smith wrote. “I would like to publicly apologize to you, Chris. I was out of line and I was wrong. I am embarrassed and my actions were not indicative of the man I want to be. There is no place for violence in a world of love and kindness.” (https://variety.com/2022/film/news/will-smith-apologizes-chris-rock-slap-oscars-statement-1235216526/)
So, with the Christian virtue of gentleness, we are to calmly be thoughtful and considerate in everything we do. We are not to think too highly of ourselves. And we are to forgo our rights and privileges in order to benefit others.
The reason we are to be gentle is so everyone will know that Christians have something good to offer. We are willing to give up our rights and privileges to lift others up. We do not think too highly of ourselves. And we always act calmly with thoughtfulness and consideration of others. We do this because our Lord is here with us, watching us and guiding us. We act as he did. And we do what he told us to do.
Matthew 11:29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
Let’s pray. Lord Jesus, we thank you for teaching us how to be gentle. We promise to give up our rights and privileges to benefit others, and not to think too highly of ourselves. With your help, we will remain calm, thoughtful and considerate. This we pray in your gentle name. Amen.
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